moving.

here we are again.
to the side that is a residue of what i once was.
to hug my mother and sing a song with a past inspiration.
to be a public figure, with a glance i am recognized.
each place i go.. someone i know,
the struggle to hold fast to who i am
now.
how do we hold on?
only fourteen days with out
and a flow of currency that should collect
in order to place ourselves in
our new space.

cycle.

around and around and around we go.
           where it stops? nobody knows...
so we began again another new rotation
                                               moon tour
                                        of the other side.
the days slip past and seem "unreal" even
though they are happening... happened.
collecting sense of it all, we missed this
and added some stagnance to the seen.
what was once a confident feeling is
now an ignored glance because of
a digital device. how sad it seems
that he can displace me with
such ease. the pain is too
much and i'd die than
be here at times.
let me go
easy.

mirror.

noun: something that gives a minutely faithful representation, image, or idea of something else.

        : a pattern for imitation.

verb: to mimic or imitate accurately

       : to be or give a faithful representation, image, or idea of...

come to peace with the good cheer that is meant for us

putting the spirit, our God  first

ask and you shall receive .. but ask what?

of what do you want?

to see my reflection

and create  a sense of awareness in a conscious way of life.

i want to see what is "out there"

and  fashion it to what lies within

make the sounds that represent how fast our life 

changes

passes

choices.

our time.

his cell phone dies in the midst of a setting sun... one hour later, so the numbers say that we have had our fill and once again we must part. i loved today. i had an amazing client first thing this morning, one and only one... she is great. he picked me up from work and we went to our "emoji" corner to collect torpedoes and took that afternoon for us. it feels selfish at times to take these moments for ourselves... but in the end, he makes me happy. i sat on his lap as he called me a persian "a cat that never ends up on the streets" i laugh and tell him that i grew up with a chuckie... the tan persian. who ironically died in my arms while my mom was taking a bath. she loved that cat. we mix it up by spending some time in new areas and a few hours later led us to our usual amusements... including an overdrawn but much needed time to grasp each other's bodies... skin under blankets. with day disappearing we fell into a romantic slumber that resembles all the times we have spent asleep with each other. to wake up and glimpse at him asleep... a beautiful angel that has fallen so hard, we land in a bed made for a princess.

but beauty must fade and so does our time. he is summoned by the past and i'm left, once again... alone in this room with only a hint of him. he hasn't a second to spare and kisses my forehead. time's up.

centre of gravity.

to place a finger on the outcome would mean to
say that i judged the book.
it's cover is exactly my speed
and we both woke up at 11am to
endure the most
colorful
beautiful
bright
odd
bizarre

day.
he can feel me and even though
i am too quiet,
what happens inside is far from
calm.

i say a prayer and hope that one
day i can sing too. fall in love
with you too
tears stream down
all too easy.

insta. statisfaction.

14 days later and i am left to my own devices. 

funny how fast it all ends... begins. 

modern civilization is a bit too

instant. 

(tap tap)